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“Dear diary. I feel desperate. I feel frustrated because I just don’t know what it is that I want! This one option is nice, and this other option is kinda cool too but nothing feels real.
Nothing feels like it’s truly my thing. And that’s such an awful feeling. My heart feels heavy, like it’s cramping and kind of pulling me down. I feel like I need to break out of it and at the same time I don’t really know what ‘it’ is.
I want something different. This is not how I imagined my early 20’s would go.
But what do I want instead???”
This could’ve been an excerpt from my diary a few years ago, because this is exactly how I felt. Sometimes, looking back at it, I’m still amazed how I pulled myself out of that and how positively different I feel now.
To be honest, there just came a point where I told myself a “STOP!”. I couldn’t go on any longer like this. I had reached my pain point. I wanted to change something so desperately that I was like: “Okay, I’m gonna find a way. I have to!”.
And I did.
At first I thought to myself: “Okay, I want something different, but what is that? What is it that I want?”
And then I figured it out.
I opened myself up to receiving and was almost like: “Universe, I’m ready! Show me what it is that truly brings me joy.” And I meant that in regards to my future job and professional life and also in regards to my private life, like what activities did I enjoy? What subjects do I like learning about? What makes my heart skip a beat?
And it kind of came to me. Suddenly I just found myself in situations where I felt so much joy, that I felt like I was about to explode. I didn’t know what to do with it, it was so positively overwhelming, so beautiful.
You can experience that too, believe me!
You too can wake up and feel calm and happy. You can feel good about what you are doing, like really good. Intrinsically good.
If you choose to go down the easy path check out Conscious Commitment. This incredible online course will support you in finding your joy & the thing you want and also guide you to that commitment. Because the first step to living a flourishing life is that commitment. Like when I said: “Stop! I’m gonna figure it out. I have to.”
Head on over to Conscious Commitment and enroll now!
Through that joy I felt and through encountering many lessons I also got to know myself so much better. I mean on a deeper level, you know. I explored my mind, my heart and my body.
I realized that all of my life I’d been in my head only. I thought (and overthought lol) all the time! Through commiting to those experiences and to a more conscious life I realized that my heart knows what brings me joy. I simply need to ask it. Because, if I ask my mind, the only thing it will tell me is: “You can’t do that, what will they think?”. I start to worry and overthink. My heart doesn’t say that and when I follow it, I don’t feel insecure, there are no worries that come up. It just feels good and calm.
Isn’t it crazy how that works?
If you’re interested in the “get to know myself better on a deeper level”, dive deeper with Heightened Awareness. This incredible course will teach you how to perceive and feel yourself better on a mental, emotional and physical level. So many of the online courses out there are mindset-focused only, but that’s not enough. Becuase you have 2 other aspects that need to be incorporatet for maximum effect. So, check it out. It’ll be worth it: Heightened Awareness
And then… I started to feel like I was living. Like, I wasn’t only alive, I was living. I could feel my body. I realized that all those years of being in my head I didn’t even notice my body. This is so weird to describe and maybe weird for you to read, but I honestly was so dismissive of it. Like, I had no perception of what felt good or not. Kind of like I was numb. When I would put a hand on my thigh, for example, I couldn’t even feel it. I was so out of touch.
I was also really scared to move or show my body (in a sleeveless T-Shirt, for example). I was terrified of going out there into the world and realizing/actualizing things.
Experiencing more joy and more of what I truly wanted and shaping my life in the way I desired it – I started not to feel scared anymore when I took action because it was aligned with my inner truth and that gave me strength.
And suddenly I realized that I had created space for myself and you know what I felt? I felt calm. WHAAT?? Haha yes! I felt such an inner calmness all of a sudden that was so so so incredibly beautiful. I still do. It felt like those beautiful nature Reels on IG, where you see a peaceful cow in the mountains enjoying the sun and chilling. The way those videos look, that’s how I felt – and still feel.
And now, I’m actively elongating my conscious, calm & beautiful moments in between the stressful ones. I really feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be right now. I trust life. I’m learning to trust myself. And it’s THE BEST FEELING!
How I did that and how I’m still doing it, you’ll learn in Conscious Living. In that third course Ylli Space offers, you’ll learn how to create space for yourself. You’ll learn tools for how to interact with feelings of sadness, loneliness & emptiness. And you’ll discover your inner calmness that you desire so much… you just don’t know it yet. 😉
So, head on over to Conscious Living and check it out!
Looking back at that diary entry: Back then, I had no idea the current Patricia was even a possibility.
And the same goes for you! Your future version is not some fantasy. It is a reality. You’re simply not there yet. I, from the bottom of my heart, encourage you to get started. Enroll into one of the three courses and finally get to know what you want and love.
And in case you don’t know where to start… my recommendation is Conscious Commitment. That course is the foundation for the other two courses and for the rest of your life!
It really is time, my love!
Lots of love to you,
Patricia